Welcome to January! Time to dramatically overhaul your routines, your habits, your body — all in the service of being BETTER. And for pretty much all of us, this annual rite of self-improvement is followed by February's annual rite of self-flagellation. This year, what if you tried a softer approach that honors your innate human drive to learn, heal, and grow while also making space for your equally innate human imperfection? Instead of asking yourself what you need to fix, try asking yourself, "How do I want to live?"

This is the heart of creating sustainable, value-driven intentions vs. shame-driven, all-or-nothing resolutions. While resolutions focus on black-and-white OUTCOMES, intentions help you align more often with your core VALUES. Examples of resolutions might be: "Stop procrastinating, get organized, and the perennial favorite 'lose weight.'" Intentions might look like: "Care for my body, live with curiosity, and stay connected." As you reflect on your values and intentions for this new year, here are some mental health-friendly, research-backed ideas for you to consider:

Nurture Your Relationships

Yes, shocker — the attachment-oriented therapist is recommending a focus on connection. But guess what? That isn't squishy therapist talk — it's cold, hard biology. Decades of research, including one of the longest-running studies on adult well-being, show that the quality of our relationships is the strongest predictor of long-term mental and physical health. Intentions here might sound like:

• Spend more time with your people (the ones who make you feel safe and seen)
• Let yourself be known, not just useful
• Practice showing up for others without abandoning yourself

Take Care of Your Mind & Body (Spoiler: They're the Same Thing)

Getting good sleep, eating well, and getting adequate movement aren’t just “healthy habits,” they're incredibly effective emotional regulators. As much as we might sometimes act like we're a head in a jar, disconnected from our physical body, our physical well-being and mental well-being are inextricably intertwined. When we’re underslept, undernourished, or chronically stressed, our brains interpret the world as more threatening. Anxiety rises, mood drops, motivation shrinks, and suddenly your Self-at-Worst is at the wheel. Gentle intentions might include:

• Make more room for rest
• Move your body in ways that feel supportive rather than punishing (hello yoga and nature walks!)
• Use practices like journaling, mindfulness, or gratitude to help your brain notice what’s going right

And when needed, seek support. Getting help through therapy, personal training, good medication, or supportive community isn’t a failure — it's adding to your wellness toolkit.

Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself “off the hook," it’s treating yourself the way you’d treat a loved one. Far from making you soft or ineffective, research links self-compassion to greater resilience and motivation, less anxiety and depression, and better emotion regulation. If you'd like to focus on cultivating compassion, an intention might be:

• Speak to yourself with respect, even when you’re struggling (you know, like you would for anyone else)
• Accept that no one feels joyful all the time
• Make peace with the ups and downs of being an actual human vs. an Instagram reel

I hope these tips help you choose your own adventure for this new year we're beginning. Whatever you want for yourself, I encourage you to approach your goals with patience, kindness, and love. That's another New Year's intention that's therapist-approved.